帮忙批改雅思作文Topic:research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when set free.What do you think of this case?What to be done to solve this problem? In many parts of the world,crime problems are i

帮忙批改雅思作文Topic:research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when set free.What do you think of this case?What to be done to solve this problem? In many parts of the world,crime problems are i
帮忙批改雅思作文
Topic:research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when set free.What do you think of this case?What to be done to solve this problem? 
In many parts of the world,crime problems are increasingly becoming the focus of the government and citizen concern.To me,I think that prison system and society are probably responsible for this shows for the following reasons.
The first reason we could not afford to ignore is that prison can not solve the problem completely.The person who commit a crime,will be put into jail.During this period of time in prison,expect doing some hard works,it is just remain boring.They do not reflect their wrong,but to continue doing works without any clear plan or purpose.This means that when they set free,they have not learnt any discipline or make any progress,so most of them take up their old job again.
Moreover,the social system also plays an important role on it.Even if normal people is difficult to establish themselves in this ever-increasingly crowded and complicated community.What about the people who have conviction record?Although they decide to restart their lives,the society is unwilling to admit them.
However,it is not very hard for people to improve this situation.I think the solution to the problem lies with the government,who need to be more aware of the future consequences of the criminal.If they could give the criminal an opportunity t prove themselves,and afford some lessons about the future plan for them,the whole community would benefit.
So overall,my view is that people is still have a lot of to deal with.The government should fund this kind of educational support,because this is no longer a problem for individual criminals,but for society as a whole.
要到6分怎么改?

帮忙批改雅思作文Topic:research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when set free.What do you think of this case?What to be done to solve this problem? In many parts of the world,crime problems are i
Topic:research suggests that majority of criminals who were sent to prison would commit crimes when set free.What do you think of this case?What to be done to solve this problem?
In many parts of the world,crime problems//搭配不当 are increasingly becoming the focus//become和focus搭配不当 of the government and //citizen concern//搭配不当.To me,I think//重复 that prison system and society are probably responsible for /this shows/还是搭配,直接this就可以了for the following reasons.
The first reason we could not afford to ignore is that prison//加alone can not solve the problem completely//删.The person who commit//加s a crime,will be put into jail.During this /period of/删 time in prison,expect doing some hard works/删s,it is just remain/删 boring.They do not reflect their wrong/chinglish,but to continue doing works without any clear plan or purpose.This means that when they //加are set free,they have not learnt any discipline//搭配错 or make any progress,so most of them take up their old job again.
Moreover,the social system//没有这个搭配 also plays an important role on//in it.Even if normal/ordinary people is/are difficult to establish themselves in this ever-increasingly crowded and complicated community.What about the people who have conviction record?Although they decide to restart their lives//life到目前为止还没办法restart,可改为rehabilitate themselves,the society is unwilling to admit/accept them.
However,it is not very hard for people to improve this situation.I think the solution to the problem lies with the government,who need to be more aware of the future consequences of the criminal/s.If they could give the criminal an opportunity to prove themselves,and //afford some lessons about the future plan for them//,the whole community would benefit //from.
So overall,my view is that people is/删 still have a lot of//删 to deal with.The government should fund this kind of educational support//endeavors,because this is no longer a problem for individual criminals/删s,but for society as a whole.
要到6分怎么改?
你这个大概5分左右,
以后练习注意搭配和用法,多积累点模板句型然后仿写.完善小的语法错误.上6不难.继续加油!