帮我看看这段话语法错误Well,I’d like to talk about my father whom I admire most.Last year,we celebrated his sixtieth birthday and from then on he could enjoy the rest of his life.He had worked for over 40 years,serving first in army and l

帮我看看这段话语法错误Well,I’d like to talk about my father whom I admire most.Last year,we celebrated his sixtieth birthday and from then on he could enjoy the rest of his life.He had worked for over 40 years,serving first in army and l
帮我看看这段话语法错误
Well,I’d like to talk about my father whom I admire most.Last year,we celebrated his sixtieth birthday and from then on he could enjoy the rest of his life.He had worked for over 40 years,serving first in army and later in government.To me he is a loving father,a valiant soldier and a competent officer.It was amazing really that he became such a great man considering all the hardship he endured.When he was only two years old,both of my grandparents passed away,leaving 3 children in poverty among whom the oldest was only 9 years old.I can hardly imagine how they managed to survive these days.Perhaps because of this,my father loves the family very much.I still remember the happy time when he told me stories every evening in my childhood and there is no doubt he will do anything to make me happy.We are so proud of him because he once commanded an anti-air company in the real battle in Vietnam and 3 badges proved his pure nerve.As a government officer,he also showed himself a hardworking man who was always willing to help others.

帮我看看这段话语法错误Well,I’d like to talk about my father whom I admire most.Last year,we celebrated his sixtieth birthday and from then on he could enjoy the rest of his life.He had worked for over 40 years,serving first in army and l
Well,I’d like to talk about my father whom I admire most.Last year,we celebrated his sixtieth birthday and from then on he could enjoy the rest of his life.He had worked for MORE THAN 40 years,FIRSTLY serving in army and THEN in government.To me he is a loving father,a valiant soldier and a competent officer.It was REALLY amazing that he became such a great man considering all the hardship he HAS endured.When he was only two years old,both of my grandparents passed away,leaving 3 children in poverty among whom the oldest was only 9 years old.I can hardly imagine how they managed to survive THOSE days.Perhaps because of this,my father loves HIS family very much.I still remember the happy time when he told me stories every evening in my childhood and he WOULD do anything to make me happy.We are so proud of him because he once commanded an anti-air company in the real battle in Vietnam and 3 badges proved his pure nerve.As a government officer,he also showed PEOPLE A IMAGE OF a hardworking man who was always willing to help others.
大写是修改之处.