(急)帮我修改英语日记Todang,I went to play basketball with my friend HuanYiWe are have a lot of fun.Today is a good day.This afternoon ,we come to the YanCheng Teacher's School.There're not a large number of people.We play in the middle of th

(急)帮我修改英语日记Todang,I went to play basketball with my friend HuanYiWe are have a lot of fun.Today is a good day.This afternoon ,we come to the YanCheng Teacher's School.There're not a large number of people.We play in the middle of th
(急)帮我修改英语日记
Todang,I went to play basketball with my friend HuanYi
We are have a lot of fun.Today is a good day.This afternoon ,we come to the YanCheng Teacher's School.There're not a large number of people.We play in the middle of the basketball court.First,we sorabble of the ball .I start onset,I come and under the basket."Score!"I shout.The basketball go in the basket "Ahh!"HuanYi says;"You are winner!"I says:"You also good Let's go on to play basketball!""All right!"HuanYi says.After a hour ,we"re tired I say to HuanYi;"Let's call it today!""Ok!"
Today,we are tired but very happy!
修改并说出原因!

(急)帮我修改英语日记Todang,I went to play basketball with my friend HuanYiWe are have a lot of fun.Today is a good day.This afternoon ,we come to the YanCheng Teacher's School.There're not a large number of people.We play in the middle of th
Todang是什么,是today吗?
We are have a lot of fun改为We have a lot of hun.
BE动词和谓语动词不能连用.
YanCheng Teacher's School改成YanCheng Teachers School,不存在所有格关系,只是单纯做修饰语,用复数形式即可.
sorabble是什么?没这个词啊……
I come and under the basket改成I go under the basket.under是形容词或者副词,不能与谓语动词并列,所以不能用and,另外go“去”比come“来”好.
You are winner!改成You are the winner!winner是特指的,要用定冠词
You also good 改成You are also good!good是形容词,否则整句缺乏动词
go on to play basketball改成go on playing basketball,go on to do sth表示继续做另外一件事 go on doing sth表示继续做刚才在做的一件事
After a hour改成After an hour hour 发音以元音开头,要用an
Let's call it today?是停止,就到这里吗?如果是这个意思,应该说Let's be over here
此外很重要的一点,在记叙“我”打篮球的过程中,除了直接引语用现在时态外,其他记叙性语句全部要换成一般过去时态,因为你是在记叙过去一个具体时间（昨天下午）发生的事情,是不可以用一般现在时的!

today.....we are having a lot of fun.......we came to the YANCHENG......we played in the middle.....we sorabblled.....
I started oneset...I came.....I shouted....went in the basket....said......