英语商务信函修改或者不好的地方,信函背景：1．本函执笔人Vincent Wang所供职的公司是一家进口企业,主要进口化工原料.在本函中,Vincent Wang就RPO产品和出口商Shahrzad Mir进行价格上的磋商.由于R

英语商务信函修改或者不好的地方,信函背景：1．本函执笔人Vincent Wang所供职的公司是一家进口企业,主要进口化工原料.在本函中,Vincent Wang就RPO产品和出口商Shahrzad Mir进行价格上的磋商.由于R
英语商务信函修改
或者不好的地方,
信函背景：
1．本函执笔人Vincent Wang所供职的公司是一家进口企业,主要进口化工原料.在本函中,Vincent Wang就RPO产品和出口商Shahrzad Mir进行价格上的磋商.由于RPO产品价格持续上涨,这已经是第四次Shahrzad Mir就RPO产品进行报价,这次的价格是USD 585/MT,较上次报价上涨USD 15/MT.在本函中,Vincent Wang表示如下：
\x05
Dear Shahrzad Mir,
Thanks for your cooperation and we are surprised by the sudden big increase of the price of RPO.
Your new price is increased by 15USD/MT compared with your last time quotation.We appreciate your favor on this point.However,as you know,we have refreshed the price for at least 3 times in short time due to your change.We cannot afford to increase one single RMB any more on the price as a reputed and trustful huge company.
Nevertheless,we would like to accept a higher price at 580USD/MT CFR Ningbo.If you still don't compromise for this 5 USD difference,it would really put us in a very difficult and awkward position in this business.In addition,as it is the first time to cooperate between us on RPO,we need to keep necessary space to ensure the business is profitable for any party.For this reason and any unexpected cost and risk,CFR Ningbo 580 USD is our best and final price we can afford.
Please consider everything above and in last email and revise the contract to send.Await for your reply.
Best Regards,
Vincent Wang
Zhejiang Materials Industry Chemical Group Co.,Ltd.

英语商务信函修改或者不好的地方,信函背景：1．本函执笔人Vincent Wang所供职的公司是一家进口企业,主要进口化工原料.在本函中,Vincent Wang就RPO产品和出口商Shahrzad Mir进行价格上的磋商.由于R
1.Shahrzad Mir 是名、姓、还是全名?在这样的正式商业信函中,除非你与对方特别熟悉,否则还是改为 Dear Mr / Ms.+ 姓 为好.“礼多人不怪”,更何况国际贸易中,你不得不面对很多国家不同的风俗习惯,很多国家对于长幼辈分等很讲究（国内维吾尔族人不同辈份的人之间礼数就比如今的汉人讲究得多）,如果象大多数美国人那样对谁都大大咧咧直呼其名,很容易得罪人,而且得罪完了自己还不知道!
2.写这类商业书信,务必把握好说话的分寸,遣词造句必须精准.决不可随意照搬哪本书上或哪里看到的“不错的例句”,而必须首先考虑这话放在这里是否合适："Thank you for your cooperation" --- 对方如果“合作”的话,你就不会写这封信抱怨涨价了.一般接到对方的（更新后的）报价或对你信函的及时回复,可以说 Thank you for your (revised) proposal (或 quote) / prompt response!
"We appreciate your favor" 那句话也一样：favor,是可做可不做,出于好心、为了帮人才去做的事.既然你已经认可对方已经给你帮了大忙,你还有什么可抱怨的?还说对方 “put us in a very difficult and awkward position”?对方可能为了涨价而不得不在信中说几句“我为了帮你们,才说动了老板只给你们涨10块而不是200块”之类的话,那样的话在回复中可以用一句话既对此人的个人努力表示“领情”,又立刻话锋一转表示“你们”涨得太过份了!但不能说对方为你做了什么 favor,是favor 的话,你再要求降低价格,那就变成是你“不识好歹”了!可以说：While I appreciate your taking the trouble to xxxx,the drastic price increase,the fourth in a mere 5 weeks,creates a major stumbling block.
3.信的调子,最好更正式、专业一些,大可不必抱怨 you put us in a very difficult and awkward position ------- 老实说,这样的国际商场上,对方会为你的困窘感到心痛吗?由此,你不如把重点放在“寻求发展长期的共同利益”上,以长远的、更多更高的利益来促使对方考虑降价,比如"As with all our suppliers,we are seeking to build a long-term relationship with you / XYZ Company,which will help both of us develop healthy streams of business in the years ahead." 可以适当举1、2个例子,你们公司与几家公司就XX产品已经合作了多少多少年,
4.“We cannot afford to increase one single RMB any more on the price as a reputed and trustful huge company”.这话说得太绝,与下面紧接着说的“接受涨价$5/吨” 的话自相矛盾,让人觉得你肯定还有不少利润空间.“as a reputed and trustful huge company” 那部分不明确,不知道说的是谁?是你们自己公司还是对方?“值得（他人）信任”是 trust-worthy,而 trustful = 相信别人的（多少带一些天真的那种“相信别人”）.
供参考.
得空请到我的实用商业英语空间转转,“扣”号在我的个人资料里.